A Typical Sailor Moon Episode!
by Star Eater
Summary: This parodies the typical episode of Sailor Moon. Have a laugh.


A Typical Sailor Moon Episode!  
  
By Star Eater  
  
Sailor Moon and anything else related to the series belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. I, however, own this fic.  
  
"AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" Serena/Usagi screamed. "I'M LATE AGAIN! WHY OH WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?"  
  
"Because you always stay up too late," Luna responded. "That, and you need to stay in character. Serenity/Selenity knows just how long you've been going without letting the otaku know when you were last late for school."  
  
Serena/Usagi picked up the lunch that her mom had prepared in advance for the inevitable. "Thanks Mom!" Then she quietly added, "This isn't enough, as usual. It's hard to believe how I retain my figure considering how much I eat, but I have fans to please and a contract to uphold! Besides, I can always bum some food off Lita/Makoto later."  
  
At school, Miss H. was not impressed, as usual. But, in a surprising change of character, Miss H. sentenced Serena/Usagi to move some items to the storage closet during her lunch break. This frightened Serena/Usagi, who was used to getting detentions.  
  
Serena/Usagi was almost done moving said items to said closet during said break, when two of her friends came up to meet her. Molly/Naru was the first to speak.  
  
"Serena/Usagi, you are being quite a diligent worker today. What's gotten into you?"  
  
"Miss H. didn't give me a detention like she always did."  
  
"That's bad. You're not used to change," Melvin/Umino added.  
  
Molly/Naru then gasped and said, "That looks like a very dangerous scorpion. Good thing it's in that jar."  
  
Melvin/Umino then took a very sudden interest in the last item Serena/Usagi was moving, which coincidentally looked like the DYNAMO from the cartoon The Powerpuff Girls. "COOL!"  
  
"But it's heavy. OOF!"  
  
Serena/Usagi moved the robot into the closet with a grunt, then raced outside to mingle with the other Sailor Scouts/Senshi.  
  
In the schoolyard, Mina/Minako was fuming. The Inners were sure that they were never going to hear the end of it, and the Outers plus Rini/ Chibi-Usa were nowhere to be found.  
  
"Did you know what Artemis did?" Mina/Minako asked. No one responded. "Well, I'll tell you anyway! I saw that little pervert/hentai take some pictures of me while I was in the shower!"  
  
"The same thing happened to me!" Raye/Rei added.  
  
The other Scouts/Senshi agreed as well. "I can only wonder what he's doing with those pictures. Too bad we didn't catch him in time." Amy/Ami sighed worriedly.  
  
Artemis smiled like a. well, like a cat with a canary in his mouth. He was busy uploading the pictures he took with his digital camera to his new website, which was proving to be a real good cash cow for him.  
  
"Ah, yes. My little camera, I am grateful, for you have helped me get rich. Very rich, indeed."  
  
Artemis' grin got wider as the last of the pictures finished uploading.  
  
"Oh well. Whatever it is, it can't be TOO bad," Lita/Makoto smiled.  
  
"Hello, guys! Sorry I'm late!" Serena/Usagi raced up to join her friends and comrades in battle.  
  
"Well, what else is new." Raye/Rei murmured.  
  
"I HEARD THAT! Anyway, I just finished my punishment, so I can be with you!"  
  
"And not a moment too late! Break's over!" Amy/Ami warned. True to her words, the bell rang.  
  
Meanwhile, back in the storage closet, something big happened that would give this fanfic a plot. The scorpion in the jar was restless, and it did nothing but knock his prison around. However, it knocked it around so much that the jar fell off the boxes it was on, taking the scorpion with it. With a CRASH, the scorpion was free! Free, that is, until it climbed into the robot, fell into its innards, and got trapped. Desperately trying to regain its freedom, the scorpion fumbled around in the robot trying to escape, but only succeeded in turning it on.  
  
Molly/Naru and Melvin/Umino were walking back to class. (Now, they had perfectly good excuses for leaving - Melvin/Umino had to take a whiz, and Molly/Naru had delivered attendance.) Unfortunately for the both of them, they walked past the storage closet.  
  
Just as the robot turned the storage door into toothpicks. The two students screamed, scaring the scorpion inside and causing it to accidentally short out a circuit. The robot picked up the two hapless victims (Who for some strange reason, always seem to be getting into danger.) and stormed down the hall, out of control.  
  
"Now class, today's new lesson is-"  
  
There was a scream.  
  
"That's the lesson?" Inquired a clueless student.  
  
"NO!" Miss H. snapped in exasperation. "Who's screaming, anyway?"  
  
The answer came in the form of the robot, which burst into the class, dropped the two unconscious students and scared most of the class. Serena/Usagi bolted out the (non-existent) door and chanced upon the other Inner Sailor Scouts/Senshi.  
  
"GUYS, WE HAVE TO TRANSFORM NOW! THAT ROBOT IS A DANGER TO US ALL!" Shouted Amy/Ami. Fortunately, everyone who wasn't a Sailor Scout/Senshi didn't hear Amy/Ami, because they were conveniently unconscious. Neither the robot or the scorpion seemed to care either.  
  
Speaking of which, the robot bounded off to another class to wreak more havoc. This gave the Inners the chance to transform. (And to be quite honest, they need the time!) And transform they did.  
  
"MARS PLANET/STAR/CRYSTAL POWER!"  
  
"MERCURY PLANET/STAR/CRYSTAL POWER!"  
  
Etcetera, Etcetera. Unfortunately, Artemis had recorded the whole thing. Fortunately, the Sailor Scouts/Senshi caught Artemis and destroyed his camera. They also knocked him out cold.  
  
The robot had already ravaged several classes, and was going to raze more. However, a speech caught both the robot's and the scorpion's attention.  
  
"How dare you terrorize innocents and destroy property! You are bad and evil, with no regards for other people's lives or livelihood!"  
  
10 minutes later.  
  
"WE'LL PUNISH YOU!"  
  
The speech was so boring that both the robot and the scorpion had fallen asleep. This gave all the Scouts/Senshi time to launch their most powerful attacks at the robot. The destructive magic did a lot of damage, but much to the Scouts/Senshi's chagrin, the scorpion was now terrified. The resulting squirming and snipping berserked the robot.  
  
Various screams followed as the Scouts/Senshi unceremoniously evaded the robot's flying appendages. The robot was about to land a big one on Pretty Soldier Sailor Venus, when suddenly a rose flew into one of the robot's many cracks, causing the scorpion to cause the robot to stop attacking. Tuxedo Mask/Kamen appeared, and gave this speech: "You bucket of bolts! You don't deserve to exist! Now, I will run away as stated in my contract and leave the Sailors to finish you off!" And he did just that.  
  
Since Tuxedo Mask/Kamen's presence had boosted morale, the Inners had stopped being so terrified. However, the battle (if you could call it that) was interrupted AGAIN, this time by the Outers plus Mini/Chibi Moon.  
  
"PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!"  
  
The attack didn't even dent the robot's armour. Soldier Saturn then gutted the robot with the Silence Glaive. Neptune and Pluto then blasted the robot, damaging it. Finally, Uranus took out her big, long sword and diced the robot, turning it into scrap. It was at this time that Mercury noticed the scorpion and picked it up. (And she didn't even need her visor to see the scorpion!)  
  
"I've found the cause to this problem - OOWWWW!!!" The scorpion stung Mercury.  
  
"MERCURY! NNNNOOOOOO!!! YOU'RE HURT!" Moon wailed. "IT HURT YOU!! THE MONSTER HURT YOU! PLEASE DON'T DIE!!"  
  
"IT'S JUST A STING! I'M NOT GONNA DIE!" Mercury shouted.  
  
"OH YES YOU MIGHT! WE NEED EVERYONE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS MONSTER, AND YOU NEED TO BE HEALED!"  
  
"Moon, you're exaggerating. The sting isn't lethal, and I can take care of the scorpion right now!" To prove her point, Mercury pursued the fleeing arachnid and crushed it beneath her boot. "See?"  
  
"YOU'RE OKAY! YOU'RE OKAY!" Moon cried with joy. All the other Scouts/Senshi facefaulted in exasperation.  
  
Just like any other episode, everything was okay the next day. Just like any other episode, no one but the Sailor Scouts/Senshi knew exactly what happened the day before. Basically, everything went back to normal, or rather as normal as it can get with the Sailors around.  
  
"AAAAHHHHH!!!! I'M LATE AGAIN!"  
  
Besides, they have contracts to uphold. 


End file.
